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    Overcome the Past, Grow like a Tree


    2012 - 01.23

    When the school bus wheezes to the corner, the door opened, Melinda stood in the aisle and was already confused where to sit thinking about all the possibilities, thinking maybe if she sat in a certain spot one of her friends would try to talk to her. When everyone boards the bus, all she received were glares. The only way to not say anything, she closed her eyes and said, “This is what I have been dreading, I am the only person sitting alone.” (3)

     

    The very first day of school, Melinda says nothing positive. She comes into realization of everyone falling into clans then she says, “I have entered high school with the wrong hair, the wrong clothes, the wrong attitude. And I don’t have anyone to sit with. I am outcast.”(4) The minute she enters school she loses her confidence. Seeing the clans, seeing her ex-friends laugh at her, she turns around “It’s Rachel, surrounded by a bunch of kids wearing clothes that most definitely did not come from the EastSide Mall.” (4) Words climbed up her throat, her throat burns but yet lacking the self-confidence to stick up for herself she says nothing. During lunch she is edgy, she wants to make sure she is invisible. These are her words, “Buying lunch is the only solution, it gives me time to scan the cafeteria for a friendly face or an inconspicuous corner.”(7)  The way Melinda feels and acts through the first part of the novel is understandable and usually that’s the exact way a normal freshman would act.

     

    During the second marking period, Melinda explains, “It’s getting harder to talk, my throat is always sore, my lips raw.” (50) She gets nervous around everyone else but sometimes with Heather her mouth relaxes. She can’t talk to a parent or teacher without sputtering or freezing. “I want to leave, transfer, warp myself to another galaxy, confess everything, hand over the guilt and mistake and anger to someone else.” (51) Melinda says in frustration. The family tries to come together during Thanksgiving, but the effort is small and it doesn’t happen. Finally, her tree is getting somewhere as Mr. Freeman explains, “I see a girl caught in the remains of a holiday gone bad, with her flesh picked off day after day as the carcass dries out.” (64) Now Melinda is trying to speak through art, she just needs further depth. There are certain symbols throughout the novel, one is the frog Melinda has to dissect in biology class. Some things remind her of the past, “Our frog lies on her back, waiting for a prince to come and princessify her with a smooch, David spreads her frog  legs and pins her feet.”(81) Still, she cannot handle certain situations that seem to overwhelm her.

     

    Melinda and her mom start off the third marking period with a rather harsh conversation. It seems like Melinda is a bit selfish and her mom is unsympathetic. Melinda has no fear of skipping school and that is exactly what she does. Although, an encounter with IT ruins her day, with no confidence she just runs away. This time in art, Melinda’s tree is frozen, as is her life. Her life is frozen in time. Back to last summer, at the party. Heather decides her and Melinda can no longer be friends, which is probably the best thing for Melinda anyways, since they weren’t really friends. Melinda is still insecure at this point, she tries going shopping, “Eyes after eyes after eyes stare back at me, am I in there somewhere?” (124) At least now she is realizing she needs to become herself again.

     

     

    Spring break, Melinda didn’t do much. She went to the mall, surprisingly made conversation with Ivy, an old friend. This lifted her spirits up. She starts converstation with many old friends. Towards the end of the novel Melinda reveals her tree to Mr. Freeman. This time, success was there. Mr. Freeman could tell Melinda grew with this experience and knew exactly what happened that summer night and why Melinda reacted the way she did.

     

     

    Speak Analysis


    2012 - 01.17

    When Melinda’s parents tell her she can’t go trick-or-treating she is happy because no one asked her, but sad at the same time in realization that she has no friends or escape, to save herself from embarrassment she acts mad and stomps away still buried in darkness. Melinda is the person who will not let other people know how she feels. “My parents declare I am too old to go trick-or-treating, I am thrilled.” Melinda is obviously using sarcasm to make herself believe she is OK with the situation. “Don’t have to admit no one asked me to go with them.” But deep down, she knows she wants to tell them. “I’m not about to tell mom and dad that,” Melinda is insecure and afraid of what people will think without question. It makes me feel sad that some people are like this and can feel insecurity at this level and not have two parents who communicate well and she can trust, like  “Refuse to spend the night moping in my room or listening to my parents argue,” “While she [settles] in her nest with a bag of candy corn and a book from the library.” Her parents don’t even notice Melinda’s feelings nor offer any kind of entertainment for the night, we have to remember how it feels to leave childhood traditions behind, wishing you could go back in time to maybe a better life.

    Who I am- Self Portrait


    2012 - 01.17

    This image is of me, asleep and in a deep dream. I am thinking of the life ahead of me and my interests. My favorite thing to do is help people. Making other people smile is my passion, therefore the hands holding each other represent this. I have a  bikini, tree and flowers, a beach and sun, and a popsicle representing nature that god gave us and spending time outside, my favorite season is summer. I have a cloud with a volleyball and net because I love playing volleyball, it is an escape from life and I can just be myself and try my best. The book and pencil represent education. This is essential to my life and I work hard to get the grades I receive. My goal in life is to make the people that love me proud. It is important to be the person you want to be. I have my family, holding hands as we are united. Family always is here for you. My greatest memories are with family. It is good to have that backbone to rely on. The plane is for traveling. When I have time, traveling is a lot of fun. Seeing how different lifestyles effect people and earth is fascinating. I have an iPod and cell phone. Friends are amazing to have, being up to date on the latest technology expands conversation with the ones most like you. Music is another escape. I enjoy relaxing and listening to celebrities creations, most likely they are reflections of their past experiences and how they handled them. The party hat and balloons represent parties, which are fun and I love having a good time. In the other little cloud is the face book symbol which symbolizes my passion for social networking. I enjoy being socially involved. All the images put together are surrounded by a cloud representing symbolism, I am in a dream and thinking of how to make my life what I want it to be. These interests make me who I am today, if I didn’t have one of them I would be effected. I truly love life and try to make the best out of it by doing the things I enjoy and being around those who make me happy.

     

    My Pledge, forever.


    2012 - 01.05

    I pledge allegiance to my family and being here for them all; trusting me, and relying on me, unlimited hearts; combined as one, with hands to hold forever and ever; united and happiness for all.

     

    This assignment made me realize that people don’t always keep their promises. In our world, an example would be hatred and breaking laws. In the novel speak, I feel that the main character Melinda made a promise to herself  not to tell her secret. She had a fear of humiliation and an insecurity of how people that loved her would react, without considering the unconditional love her parents have for her and maybe her ex- friends. Towards the end we all know she showed her secret through her artwork. Although keeping promises are important, it was good that Melinda finally revealed hers. Promises can either break or take relationships.

    What’s wrong with me?


    2011 - 12.22

    This journey through poetry is written based on Melinda and how she portrays frustration and isolation throughout the novel Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. The tone you will be able to pinpoint is anger, and a deep pain that just wants to be out of Melinda’s body.  I hope my readers will gain a greater understanding of how Melinda feels during this time of isolation and loneliness as an outcast.

     

    I am clanless,

    Without a loving support system,

     

    I had a friend- or I thought so,

    Until she left me,

     

    I am hiding something,

    Without any urge to tell someone,

     

    I had friends in Middle School,

    Until I was afraid and ruined one night,

     

    I am too judgmental of myself,

    Without sticking up for myself,

     

    I had a life where I felt content,

    Until now I have the wrong hair and clothes,

     

    I am completely disconnected from family,

    Without people who care,

     

    I had an appearance,

    Until now where I am for sure invisible,

     

    I am not going to stand out,

    Without makeup and being simple,

     

    I had a guy I thought wanted to date me,

    Until something happened unexpected,

     

    I am like a tree,

    Without meaning, dry, dead.